Sunday, July 22, 2007

Charities are very annoying

Yeah, that's a revelation. But I have a very specific complaint today.

I decided about a year ago that I should donate money to worthy causes to a few good charitable organizations to improve my karma. I had in hand a little envelope and note from a neighborhood lady soliciting for the American Heart Association. It seemed like a good fit... lord knows how long my heart will last.

Well, since then, I've received solicitations from about two dozen different organizations. Nine out of ten enclose a large pack of return address labels. Some of these are fairly nice. I like the big fat ones. But every damned one of them puts my name on them as "Mr. Xxxxx Oldcrankyredneck". Am I supposed to be impressed because they consider me a "Mr."? It looks to me like they assume I must be some country hick who would be so impressed.

Well, all charity nitwits out there, let this dumb country hick learn you a little bit about etiquette. It is presumptuous and callow to refer to oneself as "Mr.". So, I've had to trash about 300,000 address labels that I could have used (well, about .01% maybe). Just because you target dumbasses instead of dignified people.

Maybe the averages work out better for them this way. Maybe most dignified people throw their stupid labels away anyway. I really hate to see the waste, though.